`my sweet romance ♥

.Saturday, April 26, 2008 ' Y

is teaching your child the rights = physical discipline?!

sometimes how i wish i wasnt born to this family.
life here is tough. you have to be a total perfectionist.
i aint perfect. neither can i be perfect!
i just want to lead life the way i want.
results have to be perfect!
and the thing is... i aint capable of doing that!
i've been trying to study hard
just to make sure i do well for tests and exams.
they just dun see it.
they think im just putting up a show.
a show that will portray myself as a 'guai' daughter.
i hate it!! i dun wanna be look at this way.
i also want to have good results.
not very good. but a passing result.
who wont want that. right?
i just dont know why they dont understand me?
am i so difficult to be understand?
the thought of being discipline physically SUCKS!!
i am 16, coming 17.
and still using this kind of disciplinary system on me.
im no longer the little girl at the age of 9,
who dont know the rights and wrongs.
i am who i am now!!
even if im wrong, i dun deserve being discipline like that!
no1. embarrassment
no2. its totally not the right way
no3. it injures me
no4. it tires you out by whacking nonstop.
what for? save that energy!
i know that im wrong. i apologied.
not accepted...
everyone makes mistakes.
78% of them will somehow make the same kind of mistakes over n over again.
well... sad to say, i belongs to the 78%!!
i dun like this family.
i dun like the bring up here.
life here is pressurising.
i want to lead a normal and simple life,
like how others get to live.
who the hell care if my parents are rich?
i dont!! i dont like it when they are rich.
they see judge everything by a person's family background.
thats you!!
i am not like that.
but being your child, people see as the way i see you.
so what if you are rich?
do you have the right to ask favour of someone?
eg1. asking your frens to fetch you, when u have a car.
eg2. getting me to ask my frens to do me favours.
eg3. thinks that everything you say are right.
eg4. have the right to blow your top at waiters.
etc etc...
i am not like you!!
i dun get my frens to be my servants and slaves.
they are my frens who i wanna share my life with.
but my life isnt nice to be shared with.
sorry. but i really dun like you!
i wish i can run away from home.
i wish that i can be dead this minute.
i wanna run. i wanna kill. but...
the guts aint here with me.
im always wrong, and you're always right.
forever. this way. no change. FINE!
you guys think you're so smart at judging ppl.
well... you FAILED!!

they said: michele is not a very good girl. she is a bad influence.
i said: michele is my life time fren. without her, i will die! she is the best of the best. she's the best soulmate! she gives me encourages and supports. so what if she's crooked? so what if she goes clubbing? the law dint say anything about being crooked and gg clubbing!
they said: adeline chow is a bung! dun mix around with her too much.
i said: bung so what?! bungs are still human! bungs are still girls afterall. i dun feel anything wrong when being with her. she's a nice fren for 5 years. if you're so against bungs, one fine day i'll turn crooked for you to see.

STOP JUDGING MY FRENS!! YOU DUN WANT FRENS. BUT I WANT! I NEED FRENS BECAUSE I DUN HAVE YOU! HAVING YOU = NOT HAVING YOU!! and if yu dint realise, yur frens are so not real!! they only look for you when they need help. your love comes and goes. to gain your love, it comes with a price. and the price is... not to lie, not to bluff, not to fail, not to disobey. sorry! this love is too expensive. i cant afford such parental love. look for someone else to be you daughter or son! maybe you can sell your love to them much easier. you have given me physical discipline since primary 1. not working! you can disown me. all the better. but dont do any physical harm on me. i hate it!
my friends have all seen the canning marks on me. whether is it feather duster or using a chair and crashing it onto me. they've seen those injuries. trust me. one fine day, i might sue you for child abuse. parents dun have the right to be abusive. oh! i forgot, you dun mind. cos you said you have the right to discipline me physically!! so you said, nothing will happen. you even said that even if you will have to kill me, its still NOT an offence. hmm... then go ahead!! i wanna die too. so why not kill me, since its not an offence. at the same time, let me die and get out of your vision. like you said, having me = not having me! how you wish you dint have a daughter like me. kill me, i die, the government have one less citizen to care for. and you can save money and spent on yourselves. one less person in the house to support. and the one less person is the one who's expenses is very high!! good idea!...
or shall i try killing myself for you?

im sorry to some friends for my parents are being so judgemental. its not that i want it to happen. but because its my parents, so it has to happen!!

★•·.·´¯`·.·• ☆EILEEN☆ •·.·´¯`·.·• ★

11:38 PM